Thursday, August 27, 2009
just a note about manhood
Yes, logically I know I risk a lot trying to have a female conversation with a six year old boy! But what woman crying like a faucet all day has logic? HA HA
Question
What does it mean to you to be still and know that He is God?"
There are no reply posts on my blog please reply to my personal email bktaylormade@att.net
There are no reply posts on my blog please reply to my personal email bktaylormade@att.net
Manhood training begins @ 6
Brent and I have been wearily working with Jordy on the concept that the world doesn't spin around him and that everything is not his business. I'm telling you, this kid can drive you nuts with "watcha talking about? Who was that on the phone? Whatcha doing?" So we are constantly telling him nunya, no need to know, everything isn't always about you! etc.,
So, now that you understand that I can share with you that today I've been crying...kinda like a faucet. On and off again all day. A little leaky. One of the times it was turned on pretty full flow (Brent's at work) I asked Jordan for a hug, he gave me one and very sweetly asks (as every cute mama's boy does)
"Mom what's wrong".
I said "do you want to sit with me and talk about it? " (he'll always listen, he's my baby)
So, here I go. "Well, there is just a lot of change going on. Your daddy's schedule changed, our helper changed this week so that we can find a new...."
"Mom, isn't this dirt on the inside of my shoe gross? How do I get it off my shoe?"
"helper."
"What can I use to scrape it off with?" Are his eyes are actually glazed over!?
"Use that playing card right there, its trash. Now do you want to play in that dirt or talk to me?"
"You are going to make me cry if I listen to anymore of this!"
So you women know that this just makes me cry even more. Now the only person in the house that I have any hope of understanding me doesn't want to listen...what am I going to do get my 2 year old daughter to listen or the dog? I'm really feeling sorry for myself when mr. genuine feelings pops back in the room with his dirt ball sandals and says,
"Well, mom I was thinking, at least I know everything isn't all about me!"
ps. no, I'm not pmsing though I wish that was the answer!
So, now that you understand that I can share with you that today I've been crying...kinda like a faucet. On and off again all day. A little leaky. One of the times it was turned on pretty full flow (Brent's at work) I asked Jordan for a hug, he gave me one and very sweetly asks (as every cute mama's boy does)
"Mom what's wrong".
I said "do you want to sit with me and talk about it? " (he'll always listen, he's my baby)
So, here I go. "Well, there is just a lot of change going on. Your daddy's schedule changed, our helper changed this week so that we can find a new...."
"Mom, isn't this dirt on the inside of my shoe gross? How do I get it off my shoe?"
"helper."
"What can I use to scrape it off with?" Are his eyes are actually glazed over!?
"Use that playing card right there, its trash. Now do you want to play in that dirt or talk to me?"
"You are going to make me cry if I listen to anymore of this!"
So you women know that this just makes me cry even more. Now the only person in the house that I have any hope of understanding me doesn't want to listen...what am I going to do get my 2 year old daughter to listen or the dog? I'm really feeling sorry for myself when mr. genuine feelings pops back in the room with his dirt ball sandals and says,
"Well, mom I was thinking, at least I know everything isn't all about me!"
ps. no, I'm not pmsing though I wish that was the answer!
August
August...summer monsoons. If I can't spell that right it's because I haven't had the pleasure of seeing much of them in action this year. We didn't have many rains to brag about. But one in July when I let Jordy put on his sweatshirt and boots and play in the rain for about 30 minuts-jump in the mud until you're too cold to stand it! Then this last weekend we had some great rain surely not enough to clean the car after putting mud all over it....but it sure was beautiful to go step out in & get drenched! I loved every minute of it.
In mid-July I took a long list of health issues and questions I had to my general practioner and she catergorized them for me by specialist and handled her duties that day had her assistant start on a bunch of referrals and insurance authorizations for some tests. So, now I see general practioner for basic health and basic hub of all medical then I have neurologist, rheumotologist (fibromyalgia), psychiatrist, etc., I'm trying to think of the easiest way to update you all....
July-beginning of August was full of a lot of health complications. Odd dizziness, having to stop myself from passing out several times, having pettymal seizures (starring in space) seizures that caused my head, shoulders and the right side of my body to flail and leave me speachless for up to hours on end; a few changes of health, life and medication for my bi-polar have caught me battling a lot of depression; with all of that a bad flare up of fibromyalsia caught me by suprise and when I realized what it was I started crying because I'd forgotten that I battle that too!
We believe we have found the cause of everything listed above through the seizures. I'm being watched carefully still. I have started going to a chiropractor who has had success treating fibro patients. That flare up I'd mentioned was in my neck it was a headache of 10 days and he broke it the first adjustment. They are still working on my muscles with my flare up it isn't calming down yet. But anyone who knows about fibro knows that tension (children going through new phases which include a lot of tests, and change that is difficult for us to deal with) is not our best friend so it kinda slows us down.
Due to all the seizure activity I have not been driving since the end of June or so. I am so relaxed allowing others to drive yet I miss my independance. Needing others to come by and visit to check on me and the kids (though I don't need them here all day any more) is difficult for me. On the side that I'm lonely and feel like I am partly home bound it's easy to understand the need, but it is difficult for me to reach out and continue to ask for help because I find another layer of fleshly control and stubborness and self pitty getting in the way, yeah it's hard.
Why are we so afraid to be ourselves with each other? Are we so set up for rejection that we have to protect ourselves so strongly that we can't be ourselves? I think not! Oh, how we fool ourselves, if we'd just put down our guards for even one minute how many of us could relate to what the other is going through and how many of us would be healed? I'm not trying to be on a soap box, I do it my self. That is why I'm crying so hard right now.
Lord Jesus forgive me and help me to be more like you. More reliant on you and understanding that you are my provider of all things. Help me to continue to share my journey to give you the glory and that others may come to know You in Your goodness and have a closer relationship with You.
In mid-July I took a long list of health issues and questions I had to my general practioner and she catergorized them for me by specialist and handled her duties that day had her assistant start on a bunch of referrals and insurance authorizations for some tests. So, now I see general practioner for basic health and basic hub of all medical then I have neurologist, rheumotologist (fibromyalgia), psychiatrist, etc., I'm trying to think of the easiest way to update you all....
July-beginning of August was full of a lot of health complications. Odd dizziness, having to stop myself from passing out several times, having pettymal seizures (starring in space) seizures that caused my head, shoulders and the right side of my body to flail and leave me speachless for up to hours on end; a few changes of health, life and medication for my bi-polar have caught me battling a lot of depression; with all of that a bad flare up of fibromyalsia caught me by suprise and when I realized what it was I started crying because I'd forgotten that I battle that too!
We believe we have found the cause of everything listed above through the seizures. I'm being watched carefully still. I have started going to a chiropractor who has had success treating fibro patients. That flare up I'd mentioned was in my neck it was a headache of 10 days and he broke it the first adjustment. They are still working on my muscles with my flare up it isn't calming down yet. But anyone who knows about fibro knows that tension (children going through new phases which include a lot of tests, and change that is difficult for us to deal with) is not our best friend so it kinda slows us down.
Due to all the seizure activity I have not been driving since the end of June or so. I am so relaxed allowing others to drive yet I miss my independance. Needing others to come by and visit to check on me and the kids (though I don't need them here all day any more) is difficult for me. On the side that I'm lonely and feel like I am partly home bound it's easy to understand the need, but it is difficult for me to reach out and continue to ask for help because I find another layer of fleshly control and stubborness and self pitty getting in the way, yeah it's hard.
Why are we so afraid to be ourselves with each other? Are we so set up for rejection that we have to protect ourselves so strongly that we can't be ourselves? I think not! Oh, how we fool ourselves, if we'd just put down our guards for even one minute how many of us could relate to what the other is going through and how many of us would be healed? I'm not trying to be on a soap box, I do it my self. That is why I'm crying so hard right now.
Lord Jesus forgive me and help me to be more like you. More reliant on you and understanding that you are my provider of all things. Help me to continue to share my journey to give you the glory and that others may come to know You in Your goodness and have a closer relationship with You.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
What happened May
May, First Choice Pregnancy Centers annual banquet; my official good bye and passing the baton to the new director officially.
Brent's Aunt Debbie came to spend the end of her vacation with us. I love her so much. We are very close, we act more like sisters than in-laws, and believe that God has established this relationship. She happened to be here for the banquet and that helped to relieve my anxiety of the unknown reaction I'd have to the bittersweet finality of FCPC ministry.
Dan and Connie Ambrecht, whom I have had the priviledge of becoming close friends with were the speakers again this year that topped off my goodbye; along with the Jubilee danceteam performing the First Choice presentation that was first released when the baton was passed to me and not again until I passed the baton on and it was not purposely planned that way.
I had limited responsibility for the banquet but that is basically what consumed a lot of my minds energy that month. The event was of course absolutely beautiful and as far as how did I handle the goodbyes? I have walked away, and released control but still posses much passion for that ministry. Brent has one area that he would love for me to be able to volunteer for them and it is one of my favorite passions it just isn't quite time yet, and I can't do it by myself and need to see some more people in place first.
It never ceases to amazes me that with this passion God still honors this passion and I have had the opportunity to talk to a few people in different ways considering the sanctity and vulnerability of life and I praise Him and give Him glory for it.
Brent's Aunt Debbie came to spend the end of her vacation with us. I love her so much. We are very close, we act more like sisters than in-laws, and believe that God has established this relationship. She happened to be here for the banquet and that helped to relieve my anxiety of the unknown reaction I'd have to the bittersweet finality of FCPC ministry.
Dan and Connie Ambrecht, whom I have had the priviledge of becoming close friends with were the speakers again this year that topped off my goodbye; along with the Jubilee danceteam performing the First Choice presentation that was first released when the baton was passed to me and not again until I passed the baton on and it was not purposely planned that way.
I had limited responsibility for the banquet but that is basically what consumed a lot of my minds energy that month. The event was of course absolutely beautiful and as far as how did I handle the goodbyes? I have walked away, and released control but still posses much passion for that ministry. Brent has one area that he would love for me to be able to volunteer for them and it is one of my favorite passions it just isn't quite time yet, and I can't do it by myself and need to see some more people in place first.
It never ceases to amazes me that with this passion God still honors this passion and I have had the opportunity to talk to a few people in different ways considering the sanctity and vulnerability of life and I praise Him and give Him glory for it.
Trying of your faith
Some times we fly through life so confident. We think we have it by the tail. We have good habits and tend to even brag. Say for instance we are faithful to read our bible daily, we encourage others to do so. We are great at doing devotions and merrily we go our way. Faith could be our middle name.
What about the times that we are weary? Or ......angry at God.....and the above is far from describing us?
I don't know where I was in May (oh yes I do, I owe you another post); but June through July has been a spritual battle for me that I was not fighting. The hardest part for me to admit to the Lord was that before the battle fell hard God gave me a dream of warning that I was in a real physical battle and in the dream I realized it was a spritual battle and began to win and fight off the creatures that I was physically fighting because I began using the proper weapons for the spritual war that was not of flesh and blood.
How quickly I didn't heed the warning and just thought wow what a neat dream.
As I stood before God today with 2 sisters holding my arms up physically because I was too weary to humbly stand as cried out God, God spoke to me of His love just as He would if it was a time of walking confidently in His presence.
My dear sisters, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4
What about the times that we are weary? Or ......angry at God.....and the above is far from describing us?
I don't know where I was in May (oh yes I do, I owe you another post); but June through July has been a spritual battle for me that I was not fighting. The hardest part for me to admit to the Lord was that before the battle fell hard God gave me a dream of warning that I was in a real physical battle and in the dream I realized it was a spritual battle and began to win and fight off the creatures that I was physically fighting because I began using the proper weapons for the spritual war that was not of flesh and blood.
How quickly I didn't heed the warning and just thought wow what a neat dream.
As I stood before God today with 2 sisters holding my arms up physically because I was too weary to humbly stand as cried out God, God spoke to me of His love just as He would if it was a time of walking confidently in His presence.
My dear sisters, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4
Friday, April 24, 2009
So, how about me?
I can't believe how long it has been since I've written about me. Many have called and emailed wondering how I'm doing, and when will I post an update-so here it goes.
I must start of course with God is always good and when I am weak He is always strong. If it were not for His grace I would be nothing.
Where to start?
This last month I've lost over 400lbs. What? Forgiveness. That is where it is at. In the people I have forgiven combined I released a total of 400lbs of people out of a cage of bitterness from my heart! PRAISE GOD! Spiritually this was a real break through a lot of wrestling and conversing with God had to be done with God to bring me to the point of surrender and then the time came that I realized that I was in fault also that I had sinned also and needed forgiveness by being disobedient and holding unforgiveness in my heart along with a list of many other things.
Physically I was able to weigh at the doctors office and since September I've lost 36 lbs so I'm averaging about 5 lbs a month which is the healthy keep it off for good weight loss. 6 inches off the midriff and 8 off the waist. YEAH. Wish they'd fall off the hips that fast so I could find jeans that I could keep up! My fibromyalgia has flaired up something aweful and I'm in a lot of pain and need prayer. I don't like to take pain medicine or be down in bed and miss any time with my family.
Emotionally I had a bit of a set back and hit a depression bump in the road that threw my med's way off and they needed to be adjusted, but praise God He has me with a doctor who has much experience with bi-polar patients and she knew exactly what was going on with me and an hour later I was brand new again.
I continue to pray that through all of this God will receive all glory and honor and that I will be a light unto someone's dark path to Jesus. He is the only hope that we have.
Brent is doing well and has taken over homeschool as I'm overwhelmed with surviving and loving the children right now. (Have I mentioned that I'm lonely?)
The kids are growing like weeds. Jordy is over 4ft tall and Ally's words are coming in quickly. I am loving being with the kids and so glad that I get to see their development and how their personalities are developing.
Now I can close with our God is so BIG so strong and so mighty there is nothing my God can not do!
I must start of course with God is always good and when I am weak He is always strong. If it were not for His grace I would be nothing.
Where to start?
This last month I've lost over 400lbs. What? Forgiveness. That is where it is at. In the people I have forgiven combined I released a total of 400lbs of people out of a cage of bitterness from my heart! PRAISE GOD! Spiritually this was a real break through a lot of wrestling and conversing with God had to be done with God to bring me to the point of surrender and then the time came that I realized that I was in fault also that I had sinned also and needed forgiveness by being disobedient and holding unforgiveness in my heart along with a list of many other things.
Physically I was able to weigh at the doctors office and since September I've lost 36 lbs so I'm averaging about 5 lbs a month which is the healthy keep it off for good weight loss. 6 inches off the midriff and 8 off the waist. YEAH. Wish they'd fall off the hips that fast so I could find jeans that I could keep up! My fibromyalgia has flaired up something aweful and I'm in a lot of pain and need prayer. I don't like to take pain medicine or be down in bed and miss any time with my family.
Emotionally I had a bit of a set back and hit a depression bump in the road that threw my med's way off and they needed to be adjusted, but praise God He has me with a doctor who has much experience with bi-polar patients and she knew exactly what was going on with me and an hour later I was brand new again.
I continue to pray that through all of this God will receive all glory and honor and that I will be a light unto someone's dark path to Jesus. He is the only hope that we have.
Brent is doing well and has taken over homeschool as I'm overwhelmed with surviving and loving the children right now. (Have I mentioned that I'm lonely?)
The kids are growing like weeds. Jordy is over 4ft tall and Ally's words are coming in quickly. I am loving being with the kids and so glad that I get to see their development and how their personalities are developing.
Now I can close with our God is so BIG so strong and so mighty there is nothing my God can not do!
3 Things About Me
Three Names I have been called:
Care Care
Karen Sue Sue
Mommy
Three Jobs I have had in my life:
Pregnancy Center Director
Book-keeper
Administrator
Three Places I have lived:
Las Vegas, NV
Bullhead City, AZ
Redwood City, CA
Three TV Shows That I Watch:
Beth Moore
Design on a Dime
Jon and Kate plus 8
Three places I have been?
TN
OR
CO
Three People that e-mail me regularly:
Too many to list
Three of my favorite foods:
Mexican
Annie’s Glutten Free Mac & Cheese
Breyer’s Coffee Ice Cream
Three friends I think will respond:
Theresa
Lora
Tomie
Three things I am looking forward to:
1. Clifford the Big Red Dog Museum Expo w/ family
2. Scrap Yard Sale (I’ll have my scrap area complete)
3. Heaven
Now, here's what you're supposed to do...if you want to join the fun.Copy this list to an email, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a few good friends and family INCLUDING me (bktaylormade@yahoo.com) The theory is that you will learn something new...
Care Care
Karen Sue Sue
Mommy
Three Jobs I have had in my life:
Pregnancy Center Director
Book-keeper
Administrator
Three Places I have lived:
Las Vegas, NV
Bullhead City, AZ
Redwood City, CA
Three TV Shows That I Watch:
Beth Moore
Design on a Dime
Jon and Kate plus 8
Three places I have been?
TN
OR
CO
Three People that e-mail me regularly:
Too many to list
Three of my favorite foods:
Mexican
Annie’s Glutten Free Mac & Cheese
Breyer’s Coffee Ice Cream
Three friends I think will respond:
Theresa
Lora
Tomie
Three things I am looking forward to:
1. Clifford the Big Red Dog Museum Expo w/ family
2. Scrap Yard Sale (I’ll have my scrap area complete)
3. Heaven
Now, here's what you're supposed to do...if you want to join the fun.Copy this list to an email, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a few good friends and family INCLUDING me (bktaylormade@yahoo.com) The theory is that you will learn something new...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
For Today
This morning in my devotional, “How to Age with Style” from Jennifer Rothschild’s Fresh Grounded Faith I was deeply touched by two quotes, “Life goes on” and “Then maybe someday, someone will look at our lives and say, ‘She was my rock star, and I was her groupie’.”
The first quote really touched me as many of you have asked how I’m doing and this would be my response: I am doing well on some days and others not so good but life goes on. I am so grateful that I have Jesus living in me to work through me in this. My daily cry is still to God be the glory! I’m so blessed to have such a great support team I feel that I can never thank you enough.
The next quote for me blended in a way with the first. It brought back a memory from right before I quit directing the center; I was extremely emotional and attempting to explain the array of emotions to my mom and one of the things that came out was that I felt she did not care about what I’d just poured my heart into for the last 2 years. She began to weep and expressed how proud she was of me and that she looked up to me in some areas. She reminded me of the time she spent earlier that year being my “groupie” following me from church to church to hear me speak of my passion of life Sunday after Sunday for about seven weeks. I am learning just as Jennifer wrote of that family is the most precious groupies in life and I can lead them to respect me and want to be around me and seek me out in a crowd or disrespect me and desire to loose me in a crowd.
The first quote really touched me as many of you have asked how I’m doing and this would be my response: I am doing well on some days and others not so good but life goes on. I am so grateful that I have Jesus living in me to work through me in this. My daily cry is still to God be the glory! I’m so blessed to have such a great support team I feel that I can never thank you enough.
The next quote for me blended in a way with the first. It brought back a memory from right before I quit directing the center; I was extremely emotional and attempting to explain the array of emotions to my mom and one of the things that came out was that I felt she did not care about what I’d just poured my heart into for the last 2 years. She began to weep and expressed how proud she was of me and that she looked up to me in some areas. She reminded me of the time she spent earlier that year being my “groupie” following me from church to church to hear me speak of my passion of life Sunday after Sunday for about seven weeks. I am learning just as Jennifer wrote of that family is the most precious groupies in life and I can lead them to respect me and want to be around me and seek me out in a crowd or disrespect me and desire to loose me in a crowd.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Great Bundles of Joy
THEIR BACCCCKKKK!!!!!
You've all wondered if I've fallen off the face of the earth? No! I've been wrapped into the arms of my two bundles of joy who returned home on February 5th at about 5:30 pm. by about 4:30 I couldn't take the waiting any longer. My in-laws were driving the kids home so I went and parked at the Saddle West where they would be staying and called their cell phone and between mom, Jordan and Allyssa we basically talked the entire Blue Diamond drive.
Silly me I thought I'd be able to slide the kids right into my rigid routine that I'd just become acustom to and wow, what a shock I was in for! I have been able to settle on meal times and decide that I have to be firm on bedtime and can not be a softy on the weekend -Daddy!
I have adjusted a great deal to the newness of life this last few months have brought so much change and sometimes that is exciting but mostly that is overwhelming and often it brings tears. I just thank God that those tears are no longer depression that is no longer out of control.
I love you all.
You've all wondered if I've fallen off the face of the earth? No! I've been wrapped into the arms of my two bundles of joy who returned home on February 5th at about 5:30 pm. by about 4:30 I couldn't take the waiting any longer. My in-laws were driving the kids home so I went and parked at the Saddle West where they would be staying and called their cell phone and between mom, Jordan and Allyssa we basically talked the entire Blue Diamond drive.
Silly me I thought I'd be able to slide the kids right into my rigid routine that I'd just become acustom to and wow, what a shock I was in for! I have been able to settle on meal times and decide that I have to be firm on bedtime and can not be a softy on the weekend -Daddy!
I have adjusted a great deal to the newness of life this last few months have brought so much change and sometimes that is exciting but mostly that is overwhelming and often it brings tears. I just thank God that those tears are no longer depression that is no longer out of control.
I love you all.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Another Promise I'm holding on Tight
When life finds us in times we don't understand where do we turn? Dr. Phil? Not me. I choose to turn to the word of God. Today in my quiet time meditating on His word I found in scripture what the cry of my heart had been at the beginning of this journey....whatever this is Lord, please let it be for Your glory!
I think that this is an uplifting promise to stand on today, I did read it in King James I just put a Karen updation on it for my friends:-)
Love you all!
Psalm 30:11-12
You Oh Lord have turned for me my mourning into dancing: You have put off my sackcloth {sorrow, rage and shame} and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever!:
You Oh Lord have turned for me my mourning into dancing: You have put off my sackcloth {sorrow, rage and shame} and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever!
I think that this is an uplifting promise to stand on today, I did read it in King James I just put a Karen updation on it for my friends:-)
Love you all!
Psalm 30:11-12
You Oh Lord have turned for me my mourning into dancing: You have put off my sackcloth {sorrow, rage and shame} and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever!:
You Oh Lord have turned for me my mourning into dancing: You have put off my sackcloth {sorrow, rage and shame} and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Fun things to share
IF youwant to participate and have a blog copy and paste to your blog then make bold what you have already done.
IF you don't have a blog but want me to know these things about you and have email you can copy and paste the list to email and do the same.
Just a bit of fun.
1. Started your own blog (helllooo LOL)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (some of you wish I hadn't sang some that I have Hee Hee)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Tomie, doesn't scrapbooking count?)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train (this is a dream of mine)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Hugged a goat (Watched goats be born)
26. Can say the alphabet backwards without writing it down (I added this one)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola (This is high up on my to do list)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Are you in the agile group or just not so agile group? (Me? Don't even come close to agile group! Again, I must say.....Jaana, no need for ad-lib here! :-) )
41. Sung karaoke (my favorite time was w/ my mother in law @ a New Years Party)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (I made the mud patties for my friends and had them eat them)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (a home movie)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (CanToo! Business Services)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Missionettes, I remember selling candles)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (Jaana-no passing out here!)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (the motorcycle couldn't get up to speed I fell off on my rumpous as soon as Steve started going!)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (Must-See for everyone!!)
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (Do school newspapers count I was also editor?)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Had your heart stop
91. Met someone famous (Kurt Russel signed a hat for me @ the golf course I worked @)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby x2
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone (are the people that haven't yet?)
99. Been stung by a bee (worst was stuck in my sunglasses stung by my eye talk about fear!)
100. Read an entire book in one day (not since having kids but once I did)
IF you don't have a blog but want me to know these things about you and have email you can copy and paste the list to email and do the same.
Just a bit of fun.
1. Started your own blog (helllooo LOL)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (some of you wish I hadn't sang some that I have Hee Hee)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Tomie, doesn't scrapbooking count?)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train (this is a dream of mine)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Hugged a goat (Watched goats be born)
26. Can say the alphabet backwards without writing it down (I added this one)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola (This is high up on my to do list)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Are you in the agile group or just not so agile group? (Me? Don't even come close to agile group! Again, I must say.....Jaana, no need for ad-lib here! :-) )
41. Sung karaoke (my favorite time was w/ my mother in law @ a New Years Party)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (I made the mud patties for my friends and had them eat them)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (a home movie)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (CanToo! Business Services)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Missionettes, I remember selling candles)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (Jaana-no passing out here!)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (the motorcycle couldn't get up to speed I fell off on my rumpous as soon as Steve started going!)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (Must-See for everyone!!)
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (Do school newspapers count I was also editor?)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Had your heart stop
91. Met someone famous (Kurt Russel signed a hat for me @ the golf course I worked @)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby x2
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone (are the people that haven't yet?)
99. Been stung by a bee (worst was stuck in my sunglasses stung by my eye talk about fear!)
100. Read an entire book in one day (not since having kids but once I did)
1. Started your own blog (do I really have to answer this LOL)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in the shower he he)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea14. Taught yourself an art from scratch15. Adopted a child16. Had food poisoning17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty18. Grown your own vegetables19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France20. Slept on an overnight train (as much as you can with a 4 month old)21. Had a pillow fight22. Hitch hiked23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (who hasn't??)24. Built a snow fort25. Hugged a goat26. Gone skinny dipping (don't ask)27. Run a Marathon28. Ridden in a gondola29. Seen a total eclipse30. Watched a sunrise or sunset31. Hit a home run32. Been on a cruise33. Seen Niagara Falls in person34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors35. Seen an Amish community36. Taught yourself a new language37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person39. Gone rock climbing40. Seen Michelangelo’s David41. Sung karaoke42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant44. Visited Africa45. Walked on a beach by moonlight46. Been transported in an ambulance47. Had your portrait painted48. Gone deep sea fishing49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling52. Kissed in the rain53. Played in the mud54. Gone to a drive-in theater55.. Been in a movie (a home movie)56. Visited the Great Wall of China57. Started a business (CTMH)58. Taken a martial arts class59. Visited Russia60. Served at a soup kitchen61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (I was even in a girl scout calender!)62. Gone whale watching63. Got flowers for no reason64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma65. Gone sky diving66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (went to the Holocaust museum at the Smithsonian in DC)67. Bounced a check68. Flown in a helicopter69. Saved a favorite childhood toy70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial71. Eaten Caviar72. Pieced a quilt73. Stood in Times Square74. Toured the Everglades75. Been fired from a job76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London77. Broken a bone (same one twice)78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (well since I am a chicken 35 is speeding to me LOL)79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (Must-See for everyone!!)80. Published a book81. Visited the Vatican82. Bought a brand new car (new to me and with less than 30,000 miles)83. Walked in Jerusalem84. Had your picture in the newspaper (do mug shots count..... totally kidding)85. Read the entire Bible86. Visited the White House (not actually inside, just out in front of the gate)87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating88. Had chickenpox89. Saved someone’s life90. Had your heart stop91. Met someone famous92. Joined a book club93. Lost a loved one94. Had a baby x695. Seen the Alamo in person96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake97. Been involved in a law suit98. Owned a cell phone99. Been stung by a bee (a wasp)100. Read an entire book in one day (not since having kids but once I did ;) )
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in the shower he he)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea14. Taught yourself an art from scratch15. Adopted a child16. Had food poisoning17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty18. Grown your own vegetables19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France20. Slept on an overnight train (as much as you can with a 4 month old)21. Had a pillow fight22. Hitch hiked23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (who hasn't??)24. Built a snow fort25. Hugged a goat26. Gone skinny dipping (don't ask)27. Run a Marathon28. Ridden in a gondola29. Seen a total eclipse30. Watched a sunrise or sunset31. Hit a home run32. Been on a cruise33. Seen Niagara Falls in person34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors35. Seen an Amish community36. Taught yourself a new language37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person39. Gone rock climbing40. Seen Michelangelo’s David41. Sung karaoke42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant44. Visited Africa45. Walked on a beach by moonlight46. Been transported in an ambulance47. Had your portrait painted48. Gone deep sea fishing49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling52. Kissed in the rain53. Played in the mud54. Gone to a drive-in theater55.. Been in a movie (a home movie)56. Visited the Great Wall of China57. Started a business (CTMH)58. Taken a martial arts class59. Visited Russia60. Served at a soup kitchen61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (I was even in a girl scout calender!)62. Gone whale watching63. Got flowers for no reason64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma65. Gone sky diving66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (went to the Holocaust museum at the Smithsonian in DC)67. Bounced a check68. Flown in a helicopter69. Saved a favorite childhood toy70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial71. Eaten Caviar72. Pieced a quilt73. Stood in Times Square74. Toured the Everglades75. Been fired from a job76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London77. Broken a bone (same one twice)78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (well since I am a chicken 35 is speeding to me LOL)79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (Must-See for everyone!!)80. Published a book81. Visited the Vatican82. Bought a brand new car (new to me and with less than 30,000 miles)83. Walked in Jerusalem84. Had your picture in the newspaper (do mug shots count..... totally kidding)85. Read the entire Bible86. Visited the White House (not actually inside, just out in front of the gate)87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating88. Had chickenpox89. Saved someone’s life90. Had your heart stop91. Met someone famous92. Joined a book club93. Lost a loved one94. Had a baby x695. Seen the Alamo in person96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake97. Been involved in a law suit98. Owned a cell phone99. Been stung by a bee (a wasp)100. Read an entire book in one day (not since having kids but once I did ;) )
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Grass Withers, Flowers Die....
BUT THE WORD OF THE LORD STANDS FOR EVER
This morning as I start roaming the house I interrupt my routine with watering the house plants instead of starting the coffee pot and getting right into my quiet time with the Lord. While watering the plants I’m feeling no conviction or guilt that didn’t come until I was into about the 20th minute of "cleaning" a plant that I started to feel was conviction but then I realized it was guilt and as I pondered that guilt I realized this was a God ordained moment and He had drawn me here to speak to me and this was an object lesson. Please, allow me to explain.
You see, about 3 years ago when I first started working @ First Choice Pregnancy center we had plants every where; not just little cute plants, but monstrous plants that were invading every room so I called an Aunt of mine who knows every thing there is to know about house plants and asked for advice. So I had to describe from Pahrump to Vancouver Washington over the phone every type of plant we had and she gave me transplanting instructions for healthy and pruning instructions for dying branches (this is quite a challenge over the phone as there is a lot to look for in healthy vs. dying). One way she suggested hosting these transplants because of the type of plants they were was in the see through large vases with or without beta fish. With this storage she gave me some specific instruction.
Cut off the bottom 4 or 5 leaves to leave plenty of water room for the roots to establish.
Freshen the water frequently. Take the vase to the sink and let the water flow into the vase to let the "stinky" water flow out this will get the stinky water out and keep your roots fresh and clean, algae free. If you wait to long and you keep your house clean and you walk in and go say "what is that smell?" It is you plant!
Well, with 2 youngsters, a husband, a mom, a job, and myself to care for you can guess that the transplants that I took (we each took about 4-5) myself with were blessed to get water dumped on them let alone never saw my sink until today.
After 2 recent trips to the hospital these vases had become extremely low of water and the "dead" leaves were too many for me so one day on the phone I stood and picked leaves and noticed that the root rot had become extreme.
So here I am today at the kitchen sink dealing with this root rot. Picking each stem out one by one carefully because if you touch the leaves with your fingers or the roots with your fingers you can kill the plants.
I cried as I through some of the most beautiful stems away, luscious green thriving leaves on them but fungus eating away the stem and the root had rotted and was climbing the bottom leaves.
God began to show me that we can look so beautiful on the outside sometimes and yet we are covered with a spiritual fungus. Our leaves are really dying and they are actually poisonous. If someone were to rub up against us that poisonous fungus would spread. Our roots under the skin in our heart where only God can see because they are suppose to be attached to Him have long since rotted away with compromise and that compromise has begun that fungus and it is eating away the stem which is the blood supply of Jesus’ grace and we are in vast danger of dying.
It was extremely painful for me at that point to take my shears and cut away roots in some cases and pray that new ones would grow. In some cases I had to throw the entire stem away. In some cases it was just a matter of pruning off some dead leaves. In some cases I was throwing an entire root ball away and couldn’t tell what it’d been attached to and that was said because it should have meant a tremendous amount of growth!
Oh God, master gardener that you are, take your shearers and prune me as only you can do before it’s entirely too late and I like the stems that had to be thrown away.
This morning as I start roaming the house I interrupt my routine with watering the house plants instead of starting the coffee pot and getting right into my quiet time with the Lord. While watering the plants I’m feeling no conviction or guilt that didn’t come until I was into about the 20th minute of "cleaning" a plant that I started to feel was conviction but then I realized it was guilt and as I pondered that guilt I realized this was a God ordained moment and He had drawn me here to speak to me and this was an object lesson. Please, allow me to explain.
You see, about 3 years ago when I first started working @ First Choice Pregnancy center we had plants every where; not just little cute plants, but monstrous plants that were invading every room so I called an Aunt of mine who knows every thing there is to know about house plants and asked for advice. So I had to describe from Pahrump to Vancouver Washington over the phone every type of plant we had and she gave me transplanting instructions for healthy and pruning instructions for dying branches (this is quite a challenge over the phone as there is a lot to look for in healthy vs. dying). One way she suggested hosting these transplants because of the type of plants they were was in the see through large vases with or without beta fish. With this storage she gave me some specific instruction.
Cut off the bottom 4 or 5 leaves to leave plenty of water room for the roots to establish.
Freshen the water frequently. Take the vase to the sink and let the water flow into the vase to let the "stinky" water flow out this will get the stinky water out and keep your roots fresh and clean, algae free. If you wait to long and you keep your house clean and you walk in and go say "what is that smell?" It is you plant!
Well, with 2 youngsters, a husband, a mom, a job, and myself to care for you can guess that the transplants that I took (we each took about 4-5) myself with were blessed to get water dumped on them let alone never saw my sink until today.
After 2 recent trips to the hospital these vases had become extremely low of water and the "dead" leaves were too many for me so one day on the phone I stood and picked leaves and noticed that the root rot had become extreme.
So here I am today at the kitchen sink dealing with this root rot. Picking each stem out one by one carefully because if you touch the leaves with your fingers or the roots with your fingers you can kill the plants.
I cried as I through some of the most beautiful stems away, luscious green thriving leaves on them but fungus eating away the stem and the root had rotted and was climbing the bottom leaves.
God began to show me that we can look so beautiful on the outside sometimes and yet we are covered with a spiritual fungus. Our leaves are really dying and they are actually poisonous. If someone were to rub up against us that poisonous fungus would spread. Our roots under the skin in our heart where only God can see because they are suppose to be attached to Him have long since rotted away with compromise and that compromise has begun that fungus and it is eating away the stem which is the blood supply of Jesus’ grace and we are in vast danger of dying.
It was extremely painful for me at that point to take my shears and cut away roots in some cases and pray that new ones would grow. In some cases I had to throw the entire stem away. In some cases it was just a matter of pruning off some dead leaves. In some cases I was throwing an entire root ball away and couldn’t tell what it’d been attached to and that was said because it should have meant a tremendous amount of growth!
Oh God, master gardener that you are, take your shearers and prune me as only you can do before it’s entirely too late and I like the stems that had to be thrown away.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Few Miles Down the Road
Well, I've been journeying a few miles now and the road is not quite as scary. Some of you know how our "Christmas" week went yet most of you do not. We are blessed that we had a month to prepare ourselves for the family decision that this year there was going to be no material focus in December, that there was going to be no hype around December 25th and if that would not have been planned for one month I would have had a much more difficult decision on my hands than I did December 23rd, what I will share with the group about that week is that Brent took the children and spent 5 days with his parents and the children in Sierra Vista, Arizona and we are so blessed that his parents are enjoying the month of January bonding with our children in a time frame that they have never been able to before (the kids stayed behind).
We miss the children greatly but know that my getting on a schedule, medicines stablized and recooperation is much more important and that the love and stability that they are receiving from Grandma and Poppa is a great blessing.
Brent and I have been looking back and seeing so many ways that God has actually been orchastrating this for months. Starting with hiring my assistant, Megan, in March last year. What seemed to be countless hours of her doing nothing was countless hours of her gleaning how to run the center in my abscence now. We went to lunch yesterday. She's amazed at how much she can tell others to do through the time God gave her with me. Brent and I see the week vacation that God gave me in September when I left the children with his parents as preparation for them to be with them this month. Brent's parents helped rent the car for him to bring the children for Christmas, with a Christmas check from a friend that more than paid for the car. Brent and I went back and forth whether he should add me to his health insurance or not in 2008. Nothing on earth could have been haucked to pay for the bills incurred had he not added me come open enrollment, in October. (O.K. I'm wrong. No wonder I love cows. God owns the cows on a thousand hills and He will provide with or without insurance. He has proved Himself faithful over and over again, including allowing this.)
My prayer again, is always....for Your glory Lord, all for Your glory!
We miss the children greatly but know that my getting on a schedule, medicines stablized and recooperation is much more important and that the love and stability that they are receiving from Grandma and Poppa is a great blessing.
Brent and I have been looking back and seeing so many ways that God has actually been orchastrating this for months. Starting with hiring my assistant, Megan, in March last year. What seemed to be countless hours of her doing nothing was countless hours of her gleaning how to run the center in my abscence now. We went to lunch yesterday. She's amazed at how much she can tell others to do through the time God gave her with me. Brent and I see the week vacation that God gave me in September when I left the children with his parents as preparation for them to be with them this month. Brent's parents helped rent the car for him to bring the children for Christmas, with a Christmas check from a friend that more than paid for the car. Brent and I went back and forth whether he should add me to his health insurance or not in 2008. Nothing on earth could have been haucked to pay for the bills incurred had he not added me come open enrollment, in October. (O.K. I'm wrong. No wonder I love cows. God owns the cows on a thousand hills and He will provide with or without insurance. He has proved Himself faithful over and over again, including allowing this.)
My prayer again, is always....for Your glory Lord, all for Your glory!
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